


Strong Enough

by JamieMac26



Category: Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, F/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:05:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5572105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieMac26/pseuds/JamieMac26





	Strong Enough

She was tossing and turning next to him. Matthew groaned and rolled over so that he was facing her. Suddenly she bolted upright. Her breathing was ragged and heavy. Matthew reached over and placed a hand gently on her arm but she jerked it away.

“Jasmin, are you okay?” He tried again to comfort her but she flung the covers off of and stood up. “Where are you going?”

She turned to look at him, and he didn’t like the darkness that clouded her eyes, “I think I’m going to go and lie down on the couch for a bit.” She walked out of the room without another word.

Matthew wasn’t sure what to do. She’d had nightmares before but this one seemed to have gotten to her. It wasn’t like her to shrug off his touch. She normally did the opposite and melted into him whenever she got scared. He snuggled back down into the covers and closed his eyes. He could hear the TV come on and knew that she’d probably end up falling asleep on the couch. He figured he’d just let her be…for now.

Something didn’t sound right. Weird noises were coming from the other room and it caused Matthew to wake up for the second time that night. He lay quiet, listening in the stillness of the dark. He heard it again. He sighed and pushed the covers off. He slipped his feet into some slippers and padded down the hall.   
He didn’t bother to flick on any lights, for he knew the layout of her apartment by heart. The glow of the TV had long been flipped off but he could see her outline through the dim light that filtered through the curtains. Her shoulders were trembling and a sob would escape every few seconds.

Matthew walked around the couch and sat at the far end. He wasn’t sure if she would still shrug off his attempt to comfort her or not. He wanted to give her the opportunity to seek it out if she felt she wanted it.

He sat there silently, allowing her to just cry. She would inch slightly closer to him every few seconds and he just let her to do so. When she was within arm’s length, she reached over and brushed her fingertips against the skin of the arm that rested on the back of the couch. He turned his palm upwards, allowing his fingers to mix with hers.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice seemed loud in the quiet of the shadowy room.

He could make out the nod of her head as she inched even closer. “It was another bad dream.”

“Just a bad dream,” He allowed her to scoot even closer, her hand now rested on his knee. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could tell that she was refusing to look at him as she only just nodded her head. “Come on baby, talk to me.” He kept his voice even and calm, but inviting for her. He still wasn’t touching her, just allowing her to continue to touch him.

The tears were flowing again and she tried, without success, several times to find the words to begin to explain. Each time she stopped herself. She knew that it had only been a dream but it had felt so real. She had lost him and the pain of that loss burned.

“Come on Jas, you know that you can tell me.”

She took a deep breath. She just needed to get it out. She just needed to tell him. “I don’t know how to explain it Matthew.”

“You just give me one little bit at a time. Whatever it was, it can’t hurt you. Baby, it was just a dream.” He felt her fingers tighten, digging into his thigh just slightly.

“I know, but…” She felt the tears start to build again, burning the back of her eyes, “It just felt so real.”

“I am right here,” He finally reached over, placing his hand on top of hers. His thumb rubbed back and forth.

The small touch was all it took and the tears escaped, cascading down her face. “It was awful Matthew. We were in the car,” She was trying to get this out between sobs. “You missed the turn, the car came out of nowhere. You tried to stop but it all just happened in slow motion. There was so much noise.” She put her hands over her ears as the horrific images replayed through her mind. The tears were coming faster.

Matthew pulled her into his lap. He didn’t care anymore. She needed him, “Shhh,” He rubbed her back.

She curled up into him. His hand on her back was beginning to sooth her and the sobs were becoming less and less. “The car hit us. I seemed to be okay but you, you were bleeding. There was so much blood. It covered my hands and my shirt. I screamed your name but you wouldn’t respond to me. I managed to get myself out of the car but then I couldn’t get to you. It’s like the faster I ran the further you got.”

Matthew wrapped his arms tightly around her, “Jas, I’m here…with you. There is no car and there is no blood. Baby, it was just a bad dream.”

She pulled away and looked at him, “I know that it was just a bad dream Matthew but that doesn’t make it any easier. That’s why I pulled away from you earlier. I knew that you’d just tell me it was only a dream. Can’t you just hold me and not try to make it better?” She frowned at him and he pulled her closer.  
“Of course, I’m sorry. You’re right; it doesn’t make it any better. You can keep telling me what happened, if you want.”

Jas took a deep breath, “The paramedics showed up and they were pulling you out of the car. They kept asking you your name, but you couldn’t answer and I kept shouting at them but it was like I wasn’t even there. I tried Matthew. I tried so hard to get to you.”

He didn’t say anything this time, just tightened his arms around her. He knew that she needed to get it all out. He knew that she wouldn’t fall back asleep until she did.

“When I finally reached out, the paramedics wouldn’t let me touch you. I struggled against them. I tried so hard. I just wanted to touch you. I knew that if I touched you, it would be okay. The guy holding me back was too strong. I fought him though. I kicked and hit, I even tried to bite him but none of it worked. It’s like I wasn’t there at all.” Jas stopped. She took a few deep breaths. Reliving this nightmare was hard and even being wrapped up in Matthew’s arms wasn’t making it any better. His arms were around her and she wanted to bury her head into his neck but she needed to continue telling him. “You woke up and I could see you looking around. I knew that you were looking for me but you couldn’t find me. I saw and heard you ask the nearest paramedic where I was but he had just shrugged his shoulders. They were hooking you up to IVs. There was still so much blood. I fought even harder against the guy that held me. That’s when I heard the machine, that heartbeat machine that you see on TV all the time. It was making that loud beeping noise, the one where you know the person is dead. The guy holding me let go and I ran to you. They had climbed up on your chest. They were pushing up and down, trying to get your heart beating again. I was holding your hand. I wouldn’t let go, though a couple of the guys tried to pry me away. I was screaming at you, telling you to open your eyes. You were just lying there and I knew. I knew that you would never open your eyes again. That’s when I woke up.” She stopped talking and with a deep breath fell into Matthew’s chest.

“Can I speak now?” He teased her a little; knowing that adding the lightness to the situation would be good for her. He felt her nod against him, “I know that things like this are scary and what makes it worse is that I can’t promise you that it won’t ever happen. What I can promise you is that you are strong enough to handle it. I know that if something does happen to me you will be able to deal with it and if need be, you will be able to move on with your life.”   
Jas sat up and stared at him, “You think so?”

He nodded, “I know so Jas. I think that we’ve dealt with this subject enough for one night. All I want to do right now is take your ass back to bed and cuddle you until you can’t stand it anymore.” He stood up, pulling her with him. He looped one arm behind her shoulders and the other underneath her knees. He hoisted her up. She giggled and the sound was magical to his ear.

Once in the bedroom, he gently placed her down, pulling the covers up around her. He hopped over her and slid down next to her. He pulled her to him again, wrapping his arms around her waist and interlocking their legs together. He peppered her face with kisses as she playfully tried to get him to stop.

He pulled back and looked at her, locking his eyes with hers, “I love you Jas.”  
She smiled, “I love you too Matthew.” She buried her head under his chin, listening to his heart beat. The sound comforted her and she was soon drifting back into dreamland.


End file.
